ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You made out with two different species that night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
