well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
