dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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