it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
