Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
