should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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