Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize