oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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