Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
