The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
