i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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