The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
