just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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