I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
