went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Green mimosas i think yes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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