I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Terrible idea I love it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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