that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
