its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
