I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drunk is a universal language darling
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