He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
