Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
