I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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