Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
