I feel like abortions should bother me more
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
