Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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