Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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