At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Two words: nipple clamps
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