i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Come on in and take your pants off
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