just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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