Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate your face
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
