I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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