If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just had sex bonerless
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
