We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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