I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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