I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
