I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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