Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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