I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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