is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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