just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
