The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
