He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
