You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
