i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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