Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
