butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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