idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
