Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
