i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
