I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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