Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
