Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
bring money and cleavage
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
