why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
