Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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