I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
