I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
