She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
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