I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
