I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You made out with two different species that night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
