i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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