i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
