Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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