dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize