It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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