Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
