I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
