We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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