DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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