she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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