I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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