wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
