why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
