I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
