giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
