so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
