I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
