is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
